Testimony of Love and Forgiveness, my own.

Ever wondered 'how did I get in this mess?", or maybe " why me?"?

   I know those sayings all too well. There was a point in my life where I felt it did not matter what I did, I was going to make someone mad. There were times in my life where I decided I was going to live for me and take care of number one. Times where I considered "morals" as just guidelines, good ideas. They could be stretched, re-arranged to fit what ever I wanted them to look like.

 I was living the life!!........but joy,happiness in this setting was for a moment only and fleeting.

  I came to know my Lord at a young age. I truly believe I understood what that meant at the time. I went to church every Sunday, memorized the scriptures and even taught a senior adult Bible class one Sunday when I was 16. I was on the right path, on fire for Jesus. Witnessing to fellow students.
  Then something happen. Sundays were hard to get up and get ready for, the message that was being taught became boring. Pretty soon I was that guy on the back row paying more attention to my girlfriend and ignoring the Word. Church became a place to meet girls and socialize. I really believed that I liked it better this way.
   The following years since then has seen me go through two divorces, drinking, and living life to the max for me. I thought that the more money I could bring into my account would make me happier. The more things I owned would surely make me more joyful. Wasn't working to well for me. Well maybe if I had the right car, the expensive watch and the big brick house I would be happy. I mean wouldn't anybody be happy with all of that??? The job, the car, the house and the prestige that comes with it all. I thought so.......then it all changed in the blink of an eye.

  In the blink of an eye we were both out of work. I was trying to work with her dad in his business. Her dad and I are very much alike..so we did not see things eye to eye on a few things......well most things. Ok almost all things we disagreed. We were struggling to make ends meet, our dogs (all three) had the mange. My wife and I fought constantly. I can still remember all the yelling. This went on for a year or better, we had only been married for 8 months when camelot came crashing down and the hurricanes and fires hit our marriage. This wasn't what I wanted. Third is suppose to be the charm...right?

A break in the storm.......

   My mother invited my wife to a "Beth Moore" concert/bible study a coupe hours away. My wife jumped at the chance to get away. While my wife was away that long weekend I had a chance to really reflect on what was important in my life and what I needed to change. When my loving wife returned from being gone for a few days, the first words were not "I love you" or "I miss you" that I was hoping to hear but instead........

 " I rededicated and gave my heart and my life to Jesus! Are you coming with me? "

  I didn't see that coming. I don't do well with threats or ultimatums and will usually get very defensive and aggressive when that happens. So many things went thru my mind.."what did my mom do to her?", "it's a trick women's question, be careful what you say". I open my mouth and said.......

....yes.

  It wasn't til a few years later that I learned from my lovely wife that she had intended to leave me that weekend, she was done with me, tired of all the problems, tired of the fights and tired of being broke. My moms invitation was just the break she needed before she made her break. On her way home from the Beth Moore study that weekend she had decided that only "one" answer would be acceptable when she asked "Are you coming with me?", a no, or well maybe, lets talk about it; would not have worked. She was prepared to leave me that very second if I had not open my mouth and let Jesus said "yes!" It wasn't me but it was Jesus coming to my rescue after so many years of denying him and ignoring him, he was there in my true hour of need!
  We were both on our knees praying and re-dedicating our lives to Christ.

  ......and they lived happily ever after. The End

 Well not quite. we have still had our moments of discussions and disagreements. She has forgiven me more times then she should have had to but we have both kept our eyes on Jesus. I can honestly say without a doubt that I am happier now then I ever have been. I am more in love with my wife today then ever before. Forgiven

  Maybe another time I will go into deeper details about my sordid past. What I really want you to see is.. it does not matter to Jesus what your past is, it doesn't matter what you have done. He loves you! You are forgiven! Brake the chains that are binding you. You are worthy! You are one of His!
 Too many times Christians fall short and feel that they blew it and there is no more redemption...WRONG! Step out of the dark, leave the chains that have kept you bound. Your sins are no different then mine or anyone else. Do you think Christ died on the cross for only a few sins?? or maybe He died for only a select few? NO. His blood covers all! Turn your eyes back to Him.